Who wants to talk about dating at 40? Seriously, I’m literally navigating this in my life right now. Let me preface this by telling you that I probably seem pretty outgoing to most people who meet me, but I’m actually more than a little socially handicapped. I’ve almost always dated guys younger than me, not exactly cougar status but hey I don’t know if I’ve quite reached that age (we’ll keep that on the back burner). I did however take a break over the last few years, and by “break” I mean I just didn’t the heart for it. LOL this is a true (sad) story kids!
I don’t know if any of you watch “Younger” with Hillary Duff, but if you don’t then you should. I was home for the long weekend with a cold and binge watched season 3. They had this theory about the bad pancake. Basically it claims that when you come out of a long term or serious relationship (are those synonymous) the first guy you date is your so called bad pancake. The first one always turns out badly. I laughed at the sheer corniness of it especially when she banged a guy on the tram and called him the bad cake, but then … yeah, how often does the first one work out?
Here nor there, I just wanna say that obviously I’m not coming out of a long term relationship, but instead I keep meeting men who are. That’s the shitty thing about dating at my age, well … one of the many. To start, I’m almost 40, never been married, and “all my children are grown”. If this is starting to sound like a dating profile, that’s because it’s eerily similar to what mine looks like. As I already said, I’m a little socially awkward but this can’t really be what it’s come to. What types of venues do people my age go to to meet people?
The last guy I dated was recently divorced and basically a single dad who really didn’t have the time or what I thought was a real desire to date. Maybe he wanted to date, but just not me? I don’t know, but in any event guess who the bad cake was? Yeah! Me … bad pancake Tammy.
So I’ve essentially determined I was the bad pancake there. When in reality I’m more like the below –
I honestly have all my ducks in a row, home owner, educated and gainfully employed not to mention generally awesome. Basically I’m bringing a lot to the table, but dating for me is more like playing duck hunt, yeah, that totally just aged me but it’s true. The shit is all over the place.
Please see below for an actual visual of my love life
So I’m ready to jump back in so I get on Tinder, yeah, Tinder. Seriously, what in the actual fuck am I doing with my life? Well, whatever, I’m on it and I totally matched with this super attractive firefighter, who’s actually my age and more than likely knows what a 401k and PTO are. I’m assuming he’s probably a divorcee because again, that’s what it looks like dating in my age range. This isn’t exactly ideal but that’s the landscape unless I want to date a kid … which is also an option, but we’ll talk about that another day.
We made an impromptu plan to meet over the weekend and I was not prepared. I legit went to Macy’s after work the same day and grabbed three random dresses, some jeans, a cute top and some boots JUST FOR THIS LOW KEY DATE in which we didn’t even actually agree on plans. In my younger days dating wasn’t this hard, you just showed up and it worked out or not. None of this worrying about what you wear and what it says about you etc. That being said, you could say my ultimate goal is just to find someone who’s actually cool with skipping all that and moving on to the sweats and no bra phase. However, as I mentioned I was sick over the weekend and I had to skip out on the meet up we had planned. I can’t pretend I wasn’t a little happy I didn’t have to go through with it. Please understand that I don’t wonder why I’m single, but you know … it would be nice to vibe with someone and go on the occasional adventure.
So, instead of meeting up we decide to text quite a bit over the weekend. I’m going to skip to the chase … he’s literally going through the divorce currently. Oh man, this doesn’t make him a bad person but I am not a bad pancake. I am not a bad cake.
Fuck me but this is my SOS, how does dating work these days?
If you’ve got a funny dating story I’d love to hear about it in the comments.